


Weekend Wars

by ohnvm



Category: Social Network (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-12
Updated: 2012-04-12
Packaged: 2017-11-03 12:54:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/381554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohnvm/pseuds/ohnvm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not like Mark isn't already used to them. He seriously doesn't think of it much now except occasionally wincing because Eduardo can be such a lovable asshole when he chooses to be (which is <i>all the fucking time</i>, no matter how much he tries to hide it. Mark isn't the only asshole in this relationship. Pun intended because Mark isn't someone demure.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Weekend Wars

**Author's Note:**

> Chinese translation by koala48 available [here](http://mtslash.com/viewthread.php?tid=73486&extra=page%3D1%26amp%3Bfilter%3Dtype%26amp%3Btypeid%3D15)

It's Dustin who notices at first because of course, it's always fucking Dustin.

And it's not like Mark isn't already used to them. He seriously doesn't think of it much now except occasionally wincing because Eduardo can be such a lovable asshole when he chooses to be (which is _all the fucking time_ , no matter how much he tries to hide it. Mark isn't the only asshole in this relationship. Pun intended because Mark isn't someone demure.)

So when Eduardo says "babe, could you get me anoth—" and Mark's already moving to get another spoon without, like, having Eduardo finish his request, the look on Dustin's face doesn't register at first.

Okay so they weren't really the type of people to have lunches that use actual spoons because they both subconsciously would like to have lesser cutlery involved in eating when they could escape it. But then Dustin was in town for his start up, and Eduardo was in the mood to make Mark cook something fancy (Eduardo is also a bossy asshole who gets a boner for really inane things like Mark with a spatula. So you know, whatever gets Eduardo's dick in Mark's orifice), their lunch with Dustin for the particular afternoon involved spoons.

Mark slides back on to the sofa (Mark's Fanciness Threshold stopped at spoon and never quite reached Eating On the Dining Table) with an extra spoon in his hand and glances up upon noticing that Dustin's mouth has fallen open and is now revealing the fact that Dustin does love Mark's cooking so much that he has forgotten how to chew.

"What?" Mark barks out, thrusting the spoon at Eduardo's waiting hand.

Dustin remains quiet but his eyes are looking a little maniacal with glee.

Eduardo looks back and forth between them before shrugging and settling back in onto his bowl of Mark's masterpiece.

"What? Fuck you. I can get a spoon." Because Mark is capable of domestication with his fucking boyfriend, okay? Mark is man enough to admit that. Especially since he's in his fucking boxers and Eduardo is in his suit, sans coat and tie, because he just came back to have lunch with them and is planning on going back to his firm after. And whatever, Mark has seen Eduardo's toes so Mark takes that as a sign that they're basically living the life that Mark used to scoff at.

Dustin finally closes his mouth except instead of making some ridiculous comment about Mark's spoon-handling skills and Mark's frankly fantastic cooking, Dustin just shakes his head and clamps his mouth shut like he's trying to keep himself from saying whatever bullshit he was about to say before completely giving up because of course, this is Dustin. He is the golden retriever that never was. " _BABE_!" Dustin guffaws. "BAAAAAABE!"

"What?" Because what? Mark doesn't get it.

Then he looks to the side just in time to see Wardo bury his face to his chest with the corners of his lips tilted like they are mid-chuckle and _oh_. Oh.

"Fuck you," Mark snaps because he's a coherent bastard who can verbally eviscerate people. "Fuck you." he repeats, in case Dustin didn't hear it.

Dustin just bursts out laughing.

Mark transfers his glare to Eduardo who had stopped chortling and is now meeting Mark's glare dead on with an expression that says _you love it_.

Mark says, "I'm breaking up with you."

And Eduardo says, "sure" with the corner of his eyes showing the first signs of crow feet and yet he still looks hotter than fucking ever.

 _How fucking unfair is that_? Mark thinks but instead he says "I hate you".

Eduardo just tilts his head to the side and replies "No, you don't."

And fuck that shit, if that's not the ultimate truth that once haunted Mark during the years of Not Talking. Eduardo just gives him a smile.

Mark tries to school his face to his Mask of Cool Stoicism and he thinks he's pretty much succeeding so of course Dustin has to ruin everything and say "Awwwwwwwww, _babe_. Look at you blushing!"

And if someone else asks what happened to Mark's sofa, they're going to say that they needed to replace it because it clashed with the color scheme (congrats on their gay, really.).

No one is ever going to know about how Mark had reached over Eduardo's bowl and slapped it to where Dustin was sitting, effectively hitting the side of Dustin's face with the bowl and dumping all of Eduardo's food down Dustin's shirt and jeans and the sofa that Dustin had been sitting on.

Mark fucking loves that seat (Eduardo fucked him on it many times) but there is nothing more gratifying than punching Dustin's face with a bowl.


End file.
